Somnambulant Living under the Crimson Moon

Latest Drawing Project

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 18:17:11 GMT

I think I am making progress check out my Drawing Album.

Will post projects as they are done.

Small Things

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 05:19:42 GMT

Seveda had her baby boy by planned C-section on Monday and i saw her and him and her family on Wednesday. He is soo tiny.

Today was Devon's birthday, so we hung out all afternoon before art class. We had fun.

I had some Riceworks' Sweet Chili Crisps(Chips) and I was taken to a certain car driving around the Moors. It was fun and interesting.

And now I think I will retire.

NN

System Idle

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 14:39:29 GMT

Hmmm interesting thing to say. Its a vital non-vital part of our Windows machines. My computer isn't idling properly at the moment. Newly opened processes, windowed processes all take more memory if not all never really calming down. So if anyone has an idea of how I can fix this problem which seems so familiar, let me know? My poor XP machine has been around for a bit and I have done everything I can think of: Sys Defrag, Malware Hunting, AV, Worm Checking and still no luck.

It seems kind of like me at the moment. I definitely do not have a proper idle time. I just checked my email whilst writing this. Writing an email to JM who is literally 7/24's of the world away. Maybe one day these processes will cease as they are and proper allocation of system resources will occur :o). Drawing was fun last night and gesture work is a lot more fun than advertised. Standing for 4.5 hours isn't as easy as it looks, I R sore.

So I am off to visit friends and hopefully mend fences for my intervertive streak of these first few weeks of being back at school.

Posting without a rear view mirror

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 14:40:56 GMT

So I am writing this without looking at my last post from 78 weeks ago.

That is more than a year. I have always liked my LJ more than any other service but found myself riding with trends.

I also appreciate something that is more about my thoughts than the flash and glitz of myspace, which lets face it most of the time myspace is something between a cattle market, a porn-bot-topia and giving lists of preference to the world. You can do the last one here but the rest is just yeah not my thang so on with the show.

Current space:

CNM: Taking the pesky lower level requirements that I somehow avoided thoroughly up to this point. Physics isn't so painful and small classes mean less likely to start snoring hehe :P Drawing is almost a full time job, I haven't flexed nor created in ages so this is fun and intense.

Looking for a job: Hmmm this is interesting... how do I put it... this is painful. Taking care of my nephew while sister(disowned brother adopted ex-sis-in-law) sleeps from her night shift job. I would ideally go for a 2x12 hours shift situation with every other Sunday.

Living: SIgh living with the mother again at 32 is very frustrating, in particular how the family situation is at the moment.

Loving: Hmmm my heart is always with someone across the Atlantic so nothing there on that front.

I think that covers situations in a nutshell and my turtling along. Off to take nephew to his reading class and read myself.

Hope all is well in the world.

Crossing the Mississippi

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 06:02:19 GMT

So Mattie is crossing the Mississippi River right now. I am so fucking excited... he is arriving two hours late but he will be here soon :) That is all :)

Posted using TxtLJ

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 20:45:46 GMT

Happy Turkey Day!

Posted using TxtLJ

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 06:29:40 GMT

Love in the time of cholera. It's wonderful.

Ghandi...

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:10:44 GMT

So I have been having a rocky time lately. In one of my arguments as a side point Ghandi was mentioned. The person who I was arguing with... not over the point but over how I felt about his delivery decided to say that Ghandi voted/approved legislation that was counter to protecting civil liberties of gays and lesbians. So I took Ghandi out of my heroes on MySpace but I kind of feel robbed now.

I have a PFLAG Kansas City newsletter section here:

    Two gay Englishmen come to Ghandi in the 1930's and asked him what he thought of their relationship. The Mahatma asked some questions and for a short time fell silent.
    Then he said, "The greatest gift God gives us is another person to love."
    Placing the hands of each man in the other's, he quietly and with a smile asked, "Who are we to question God's choice?"

Now... I don't believe in god or anything of the sort... but this doesn't sound like homophobia to me.

I googled as many things as I could and without finding anything mentioning Ghandi and this legislation and I am not questioning the person who told me the information. I just want to read it myself. I just don't know... was Ghandi that bad? Does one bit of legislation completely negate any positive impact he has had on the world in general?

I have so many questions and the one person I want to ask, almost feel like I need to ask, I can't even speak to. One reason being that I can't pay my cell phone bill until Friday. I paid part of it but I can't pay the rest until Friday on pay day... shit... :( Oh well...

So yeah... I don't need the lecture... I have had it :(

Misogyny and Homo-Discrimination/Phobia/Negativity

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 00:15:37 GMT

So... yeah....

I went to help my old student group by cleaning up their computer a bit so that they could use it. And yeah... :(

The Muslim Student Association was right next door and the way a group of 6-8 of their members were talking about women, I was highly offended. They were utterly disrespectful. Details were "banging, fucking... yada yada yada." I was not impressed so I called the info desk and the building manager was sent over and I am loding a formal complaint tomorrow. How would a woman feel down there, how did I feel down there, should I pretend what they were saying is right and they were using the student common area not their office and not their shut door. I believe in free speech but that is fucking bullshit.

Then last weekend my uncle was talking to my other uncle about what happened with a republican senator being caught in a public bathroom sex sting. I was offended yet again. I just yeah... he bunched gay men all together... and gay sex... I don't fucking have sex in a bathroom. I told him about it and I didn't blow up at him and I told he offended me and what exactly it was and he apologized and will try not to do that now.

Then walking my nephew home... he let out a fucking charming sentiment... He played a charming game called "Smear the Queer." I lost it... not on him I got composed enough to ask what he was talking about... and then I got REALLY pissed off... I explained to him that the name of that and that it means basically "beat the shit out of a gay person." Not my happiest moment and he understands that. So again... A. I told him to say that he doesn't want to play that game... and if they ask why he can tell them if he wants or he can just say that he doesn't want to... B. I discover one more reason that Gay is preferable to queer... I couldn't think of one rude, file word to rhyme with it... Pay the Gay, Day of the Gay, Obey the Gay, Play the Gay(Hmmm this one is slightly negative... but not nearly as violent)... and yeah :(

Then to top off all this I feel bad for not having done something positive yet for my encounter with charming little prat that was on his cell phone(mobile my british audience) and called his friend a faggot... UGH... ANNOYED.... I fucking hate socially ignorant people....
:(

Ok I am done... for now

Dumbledore is Gay

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 20:33:49 GMT

Rowling Reveals Harry Potter Secrets

Saturday, Oct. 20, 2007, By GINA ELLIOTT

The music swells, the stage is empty. Then, through a door on the right, a slight blonde woman strides into view. The crowd rises in thunderous applause. From my perch in the Dress Circle of Carnegie Hall, I can see J.K. Rowling.

The author was in the U.S. this week for a book tour, mainly for schoolchildren, but I had been lucky enough to win a ticket in a sweepstakes for the only evening event in New York City. So there I sat, gazing down in awe as she read from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, answered questions from the audience, and then signed two thousand books, including mine. As Rowling settled down, the crowd did not. On the edge of their seats, they clung on to every word coming from the woman on the velvet-covered throne, often bursting into applause or laughter. As she started to read a passage from the book, the last in the Harry Potter series, it was clear that she was just as excited as the audience. She read with obvious delight, putting on brilliant voices that rang true to every character, and even bursting into a fit of giggles when Ron, holding up the magical Deluminator gadget, said he heard Hermione "coming out of my pocket."

But when the questions began — they had been submitted by audience members before the event — she came into her own. Finally able to talk freely about the end of a series that had been so long-anticipated, she left nothing out. The big revelation of the night came when she was asked if Dumbledore had ever found love. With a sigh, she seemed on the verge of saying no, but then revealed, "my truthful answer to you... I always thought of Dumbledore as gay." After a collective gasp, the audience roared with applause. Rowling was clearly astonished by the positive reaction and exclaimed, "if I'd known it would make you so happy, I would have announced it years ago!" She went on to say that she thought Dumbledore had fallen in love with Grindelwald, a Dark Wizard he defeated in battle in 1945, which possibly made it forgivable that he had not seen Grindelwald's true nature, because "falling in love can blind us to an extent."

As the questions went on, she opened up even more, having conversations with the audience and making jokes about herself in a very British, self-deprecating way. When a voice resonated through the theater from an unseen source, she exclaimed "God...And they say I don't believe in you," alluding to the many people who claim her books are anti-Christian. It was clear that no matter how "bereaved" she felt when she finished writing Deathly Hallows, she loved talking freely about it to so many dedicated fans. After being careful and secretive for so long, she now went above and beyond what anyone had expected.

And the fans were just as delighted to be hearing the answers to their long-pondered questions. Those who asked questions often prefaced them with a heartfelt thank you, and though most people were in muggle clothes, there were quite a few young Harry Potters running around. As those of us upstairs waited to line up for the signing, watching others hug and high-five the author down below, there was an air of satisfaction and conviviality.

This, and the whole evening, reaffirmed my belief that the Harry Potter phenomenon was not over, and would never be over. Sitting next to me during the reading was a seven-year old girl and her mother. She was just starting the first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and clutched it tightly all night. Here was living proof that the next generation of fans will discover the books when our copies are falling to pieces. And then, of course, Rowling reminded us that there will always be something new to discover about the series. The beauty of the Harry Potter books is that she has it all worked out — she knows everything there is to know about the world she has created, so no question will stump her. Reaction to the Dumbledore-is-gay revelation has already proven that each new announcement will be greeted by a flurry of Internet postings and theories, just like in the days before Deathly Hallows was released in July.

Last night's event was much better than the first time I saw Rowling, last summer at Radio City Music Hall for a reading. Back then, in between the sixth and seventh books, she found it very hard to say anything (though her big declaration was also about Dumbledore — that he was definitely dead). The half-answers and stalling were frustrating, albeit necessary, and she clearly felt confined by it. Her new freedom to talk about whatever she liked added an entirely different dimension to the evening, and to the series. As fans spilled out into the night, taking pictures with their newly signed books, I realized that this was not the end of Harry Potter, it was just the beginning of a new phase of the phenomenon.

J.K. Rowling Outs Hogwarts Character

By HILLEL ITALIE – 18 hours ago

NEW YORK (AP) — Harry Potter fans, the rumors are true: Albus Dumbledore, master wizard and Headmaster of Hogwarts, is gay. J.K. Rowling, author of the mega-selling fantasy series that ended last summer, outed the beloved character Friday night while appearing before a full house at Carnegie Hall.

After reading briefly from the final book, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," she took questions from audience members.

She was asked by one young fan whether Dumbledore finds "true love."

"Dumbledore is gay," the author responded to gasps and applause.

She then explained that Dumbledore was smitten with rival Gellert Grindelwald, whom he defeated long ago in a battle between good and bad wizards. "Falling in love can blind us to an extent," Rowling said of Dumbledore's feelings, adding that Dumbledore was "horribly, terribly let down."

Dumbledore's love, she observed, was his "great tragedy."

"Oh, my god," Rowling concluded with a laugh, "the fan fiction."

Potter readers on fan sites and elsewhere on the Internet have speculated on the sexuality of Dumbledore, noting that he has no close relationship with women and a mysterious, troubled past. And explicit scenes with Dumbledore already have appeared in fan fiction.

Rowling told the audience that while working on the planned sixth Potter film, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," she spotted a reference in the script to a girl who once was of interest to Dumbledore. A note was duly passed to director David Yates, revealing the truth about her character.

Rowling, finishing a brief "Open Book Tour" of the United States, her first tour here since 2000, also said that she regarded her Potter books as a "prolonged argument for tolerance" and urged her fans to "question authority."

Not everyone likes her work, Rowling said, likely referring to Christian groups that have alleged the books promote witchcraft. Her news about Dumbledore, she said, will give them one more reason.

Good restful Weekend

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 05:26:33 GMT

Got my laundry sorted somewhat :)

Off to bed.. not really in the mood to think to deep... sorry folks.

Missed Yesterday...

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 17:27:21 GMT

Missed posting yesterday.... Blah

I didn't do anything interesting though... so yeah. I am working putting the beast of clean clothes that is on my bed next to me. I am so tired! :(

Naomie woke me up this morning at 10 something to go to breakfast. I love you Naomi! Thank you

Back to work... :)

New Style and Maybe New Habit?

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 06:33:45 GMT

Well we will see, I liked the cartoons style a lot but it was limited in certain ways and it was annoying thusly.

I chose the Poe, the poet not the musician, inspired layout. I like it, its befitting the season we are entering. I finished off the work week. I am so sick and tired of she who must not be names. Glad to have 4 days away from it all.

So I am going to try to post once daily and I honestly did make this on in by the hair of my chinny chin chin. :p

I am off to immerse myself in more bleach.

Ciao for now!

Political BS

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 04:17:04 GMT

So my mother just mentioned that the annoying Mayor is running for Dominici's spot on Senate. She adds unmittigated bullshit saying Chavez is a wife beater and blah blah blah.... SO fucking ANNOYING. She never says anything horrible about republicans.... Its so ANNOYING her one minded ness. I am not part of her party and I have a huge feeling that I will have NOTHING to do with her after I depart the US, even on her death bed.

I am soooooo ANNOYED.

Hmmmm

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 17:09:45 GMT

So the song By U2 "Sunday Bloody Sunday" has been playing in my head, because I always thing in political senses in my mind.

But wouldn't you say if you are English or American that it is Monday that makes you want to go to war? Or is it Monday that has become the one day that affects most people. You look at me and I can tell you I am so not in the mood to be here. Then there is the fact that the less than 5% of the people I know are traditionally religious at church on Sunday. I guess you could say that I think it should now be called Monday Bloody Monday as honestly... we don't go to war over religion, its over business/resources.

So I guess you could see that the war we are in at the moment is for resources that aren't even part of our land and we are paying more in cost alone, without factoring in Human casualties and aftercare. So why did we do this? Is it a profiteering venture at this point? We the US Citizens are allowing for profit of private companies, where it is the dividend that belongs to the people, the injured soldiers and civilians, the grieving families of the dead soldiers and civilians? We should be demanding payback from these companies that are profiting from war.

The sad thing is that some people believe we are bringing a new way of life to people. We are freeing people, we are protecting people. How are we actually doing this? I don't see it...

Ok enough war talk, I will become ill and type 'til I am blue in the fingers and face.

So I am off to work... but bloody Monday... I think most of us have forgotten that there is a war that we aren't even part of going on and that we forget is slightly frightening.

I am sick of it... can this war be over now please?

Splodey

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 02:24:01 GMT

I am so full... I splodey.

We just ate Buca Di Beppo. Tortelloni and Cheese Manitcotti... and Tira Misu between Naomi and I. I am sure that I will feel better later though.

Nothing Profound, I am just splodey. I don't know what to say besides that.

LJ Return

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 00:02:30 GMT

So I am making a happy return to my LJ. I think it will be permanent return to using my LJ. I missed its functionality and lets face it, MySpace and so many other sites just don't do what I need, which for one is to let me have Private Diary entries without the whole fucking world seeing there is one that they can't see and make me bugging me about it.

The reason I don't keep a hand written diar is that I have crap hand writing as it is and I get wrist cramps easily from writing, so I am a whiny bitch... blah! Hehehehe... So I am back and as usual things that are somewhat private but not needing personal diary status will be out there for friends but that is about it.

I hope you are well,

Justin

Type your cut contents here.

PS. I hope you are all doing well :) So many things have changed in the 61 weeks since I last posted. I hope you are all well :) I am off to play now...

A terrible precedent

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 14:37:09 GMT

Ok... I feel like I am being really selfish just talking about myself when there are so many people being killed by obvious imperialism.

I am frightened. All the preemptive striking that started with Iraq by GHW Bush is a 5 year old example, that's right folks 5 years since we committed an act similar to Russia in World War I, Japan in World War II, Vietnam in the Vietnam War (sometimes referred to as conflict) and Iraq in the beginning of Desert Storm. Our guise is only different and supposedly more acceptable, the guise of preemptive strike. "We are protecting our own citizens," said Bush in a sound bite that has been used both for and against him.

The problem is that we really aren't. We are acquiring more and more assets and plummeting into a debt that we will most likely see something similar to a dark age from, if this infant of a nation survives as a whole. The social systems are being left behind and we are paying companies that are in bed with the president through his cabinet and his vice president all our tax dollars for their work in Iraq and the Middle East (what an antiquated term, Middle East). We do all this while our health care system is in rapid decline. Ken Lay who is one of GHW Bush’s biggest supporters gets off on cavorting billions of dollars from retirees, money they put in on their retirements not just money given or matched by the company. I could go on forever but I chose to digress for my time, this is a morning post after all.

The thing is Israel, an ally to the US, is now preemptively attacking Lebanon in the guise of preemptive striking of Hezbollah (I was just corrected by Word on this, which means that it has that name in its dictionary, interesting). This just kills me because that most likely won’t be the last time that one of our allies commits such an atrocity in the same guise of protection. The worst thing that can be said about it, besides that obvious that they are just attacking blindly as we did killing anyone including children, is that they are predicting the actions of those that they are attacking because they were going to attack first. The uneasy cease-fire that had lasted for almost 25 years in the Middle East (this term is retarded) negates that claim for their striking. In fact actually if you follow the logic of preemptive striking you would have perfect justification for attacking anyone. For example many militant Israeli’s have attacked or planned to attack many Muslims, therefore and Muslim nation has a perfect right to attack Israel. We attacked Saddam Hussein because he was going to attack us first.

If you live by the logic that someone should be attacked because they are going to attack you, doesn’t that sound more like a state of paranoia than a justification for war? John Hyde was a paranoid schizophrenic who was on a medicinal regimen that struck out at people because of his illness. GHW Bush doesn’t have that illness and neither does Ehud Olmert. Have you noticed that we are living in a constant state of paranoia that has left us numb to our action and reactions as a nation? Do you feel any safer today than you did on September 11th, 2001? I don’t feel comfortable leaving US to see my family in the Netherlands. The US and it’s citizenry are now looked upon by Europe as giant, ill-mannered, uneducated bullies.

Really, my misadventures are just that. I thank you all for your support though. Your love does count and I love you all as well. I know that we all have so many of our own trials and adventures. Today though I wanted to leave a genuflection on something that affects as all, even if we have become desensitized to it. You can do something about this problem as well, because I know I am not alone I am saying something about it here and I hope you speak your mind as well, because I know you have your own thoughts on this. Thinking for yourself is the freedom that this nation was founded upon. It is said that the media campaign by one faction has discredited the group that opposes them. I hope one day that we will recover from this terrible disease of being told how we should feel and act. Until then I pretend to join the queue and will voice my dissent when and wherever I can or I am invited to do so.